Long Distance Family

I saw most of my family in January and met my sister, Paula, for the first time. Paula and I have this unique connection unlike any other realtionship I have with my brothers and sisters. We have walked in the same shoes in our life, just in different places. I think it's easier for she and I to keep in touch than it is with family on the rez.

I wish and want to go home but it's not as if I can just hop on a plane and go. The financial aspect is a barrier to travel. Instead, I will wrap myself in the star quilt and say some prayers they know how much I miss them. In a large family, things happen all the time. In my small family where I live, life is less dramatic because of our smaller numbers.

I think the pow wow on Saturday was a catalyst for me. The feeling of standing more solid in "Indianness," is difficult to explain. It's as if the years of being apart the locust has eaten are restored even when I am unaware change is happening. The connection to culture may not always be face-to-face but rather, deep within, as my spirit evolves.

I wonder if this is the way of Native American Spirituality? It must be, at times, a solitary walk on the Good Red Road. But the path I walk must benefit more than myself. Other people can only bring me along so far, there are times to walk alone.

Ecclesiates says "to everything there is a season," so this must be my season of solitude. I have learned the path of progress is through acceptance. In the Lakota language, there is no word for "goodbye." So I will just pray for my family, until we meet again.